Today, my yoga instructor, Allison, worked on guiding us in envisioning and feeling the true expansiveness of breath we can achieve if we let go of tension and acknowledge how much our upper bodies come into play to create a true flow of air and expansion. This reminded me of a book someone once gave me called The Science of Breath. As I understand, it is in our abdomens that our breath should begin to “fill” our bodies. Our lungs may be the key organs for this process, but it is in our whole torso, front and back, that we maximize their function. We need to feel our bellies and our backs fill. We need to let our ribs expand. So we need to be mindful of how we feel physically so we can remain open to how we think and act. I couldn’t help then thinking about why it is so many of us restrict our breathing and how we limit other capacities—and why.
Allison’s efforts at having us imagine the area behind our rib cages as caves, as her own instructor has taught her, encouraged us to fill this area and almost touch our back bodies with our abdomens. Not closing off so much as opening fully and then gently contracting and pushing the air up and up through more regions and, thus, nourishing more of our selves. For those of us not regularly in practice of this and and more often stressed enough to hold our breath or breathe more shallowly, it was almost hard to create this openness. We didn’t know where to “put” all of the air or how to let if flow. Our chests almost felt constricted rather than open, but this can be rectified once we reconfigure our bodies to enable the air to flow where is should and needs to rather than where we have allowed it. It’s kind of like getting unused muscles in shape. It’s not comfortable at first, but when done properly, it’s liberating and enlivening.
This all of course brought me to think about the layers of fat so many Americans pad themselves with and wonder if this padding is a way to insulate us from having to feel the discomfort of reconfiguring our bodies and our minds. It takes work and is sometimes uncomfortable at first. It takes patience. In a culture of here-and-now immediacy, opening up more than our mouths to new experiences and feeling our bodies as they are–in the processes we find ourselves in the movement–is scary. It seems to be more appealing to become numb and to create distance from our awareness. So, the padding of fat is a distance between the openness of our caves/ribs, and the space we can create in our bodies. This space must be terrifying and we try to fill it any way possible. So, we eat and get full, stay full, and breathe more shallowly so nothing else can get in and disturb us.
But how am I going to tie these thoughts and observations in to the writing life? Well, I can find connections in many things that at first may not seem logically aligned. I’m a writer and relatively good researcher who uses her analytical mind to find connections that are viable. Meaning that you don’t need pure faith to believe or consider my perspective. You of course don’t need to agree with me. So, how do you “pad” your pages? Do you have language equivalents of body fat because the silence or blank spaces are too uncomfortable? Do you feel that your worth as a writer is only as weighty as the mass on the screen? We are encouraged to write and write and write in order to prevent “blocks” or losing our good habits. But noise is noise; words are words. Does mass equal accomplishment? Sit with the emptiness and discover where the expansion or contractions really fit. Are you embracing the full potential of your characters or story or are you just concerned with page count? The fullness comes from effort that is not always a smooth process. With your practice comes the sudden eureka or enlightenment that tells you the approach was just right and all the padding you had added was just a block or burden. As I always tell my students and writing group: Working hard is not the same as working right. Knowing what is right takes practice and mindfulness and only then can you feel as if it is all flowing in the right direction. Feel comfortable with the expansiveness in your body, your mind, and then your page.